Stroke
Hi all.
My lovely husband of 52 suffered a major stroke 2 weeks ago. He has lost speech and the use of his right arm. As far as towing goes, I am going to train and get that sorted, no stopping me there.
This is a query really. Have any of you suffered similar and are back on the road again? I am confident that he will recover, I just don't know the time scales. I just want to know if any other members have suffered this dibilitation and are on the other side?
My life is a bit of a car crash at the mo. Work are being totally wonderful about it all. I have plenty of support but I would like a balance of views as to whether the car crash will end in total demolition or whether it can Cat C and be repaired. 😏
Comments
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Firstly sorry to hear about your husband's stroke, so young too. Best wishes for a full recovery.
Luckily no personal experience regards severity but my mother had a milder one several years ago in her early eighties, now at 86 pretty good, only real thing we are all aware of is her drop foot. Our son is a sports therapist who did hospital work and ensured she had walking frame (long story but required a fight!) And was insistent she did every exercise. She has since had another unlabelled event which hasn't effected her any worse way.
My advice would be to ensure he gets good physio, here it is offered in the community, so that exercise is tailored to progress and however hard follow it through little and often every day.
I think only time will tell but I sincerely hope he makes a full recovery.
Make sure you take time for you and I like the idea that you're going to sort out towing yourself. If you need light relief you know Shere to come 😉
My hubby had heart attack at 43 and touch wood we've made it through, he was 65 last year. It makes you look at life very differently 😍
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Best wishes to you both, Arty. Sorry, I can't help.
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Sorry to hear your news. Can't help much but your consultant should be able to advise. My father had a stroke loosing his speech and the use of his right arm in his fifties - about 56. I was woken early one morning before daybreak by a phonecall. When I answered there was just the sound of somebody tapping. It was my father and he was using a coin in his working hand to spell SOS in morse. I do not understand morse but new the SOS. I just said 'OK dad I'll be there in 15 mins'. We were lucky that he had a retired neighbour who would spend time talking to him to get him speaking again. He did recover from it after several months of slow progress. I remember the time when he could finally manage to hold a fork in that hand although for a while he kept dropping it. Then came a phase where he no longer dropped it but could not let it go.
I would echo an above comment that physio is important. I can remember that as dad improved he sat squeezing a squash ball whilst watching TV etc
I hope that you may have similar results.
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Artyboo, sorry to hear your news.
I don't think there is a clear answer to your question, because there is just so much variability with strokes.
That said, your husband is relatively young and has a good chance of a substantial recovery. I should add that I am not medically qualified, but base my comments only on having met many people who have had strokes.
I think that with good support, good diet and a healthy lifestyle with plenty of stimulation and retaining plenty of 'purpose' in life, he could make an excellent recovery.
Fingers crossed.
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Arty, each person is affected individually. A close friend had a stroke the dropping of the face was the worse part(for Him) He was just short of His 50th birthday when it happened. It took 7 months to get back to as near as Himself(pre stroke) As is possible so far. He is back driving but it tires Him on fairly long journeys. When He's tired He suffers the worse symptoms. His speech is a little slurred, & His face slips slightly. He has been told He's in the early stages of recovery, the situation is expected to get better in time. It's a marathon not a sprint. I wish you & your partner well, if anything changes, good or bad I'll update you on CT.
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Arty, first of all very sorry about what has happened, it will be life changing for you both. It is difficult to give much advice, as every person is different, but as above, get the best help you can, take advantage of whatever is offered, you can always change your mind if the help doesn't suit.
It won't just be the physical effects of loss of speech, lack of arm use that will need time to progress, it will also be the mental impact of what has occurred for you both. Aim for little steps, hard, but try not to look back, work on progressing, keep moving forwards. Let your husband help you as much where he can, it will help build his confidence as much as yours. Focus on what he can do, work around what he can't do at the moment, and try and keep motivated.
I have a BIL who had a major stroke, just about as severe as possible, but he is back walking, doing the things he loves, and we took him and my lovely SIL away with us, even using our MH as a mobile rest station and cafe for him to make the most of his days. It was perfect for him, home from home. He is much older than your OH, was very sedentary and motivating him is the hard part, but he is getting there. Please don't use this as a measure, because everyone is different, and I have had work colleagues who you wouldn't know had had a stroke come back to work.
It might be a long road to recovery, there may even be small set backs until he becomes stabilised, especially if on medication, but it will get better for you both, just take small steps and keep moving forwards. Also, while you are focussing on him, don't forget to try and take time for yourself as well, caring is bloody hard work and you will need a break no matter how small. This will help you both in the long term. All the very best.
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Our friend and neighbour suffered a severe stroke a few years ago - affecting her speech and mobility and she was much older than your OH - and now you wouldn't know at all. Admittedly everything seemed to go right - she was taken to hospital immediately, treated promptly, scanned, given whatever treatment was required and received all the support and services which were needed. She is now back to normal - has little evidence that it ever happened. BUT she says you need to take all the advice on board, make sure your OH does everything that is suggested - exercises, diet advice, drug treatment, and a positive state of mind - not 'I can't possibly do that' but 'I will do that, if not today but tomorrow...........' It takes time, and immense willpower, but it can be better tomorrow than it it today - and that applies to every day from now on.
Good wishes - but don't forget to take some time out for yourself too - to recharge batteries, etc. Remember the advice to new mums - you can't look after a baby if you're not looking after yourself.
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Arty, I am so sorry to hear your news that it has caused me to break my silence ,
Keep your faith going, The medico's are far better at dealing with strokes now than they were even a few years ago.
A close friend had a severe stroke about 18 months ago soon after losing his wife. We all feared the worst, but the care he received from the dedicated stroke unit locally has been fantastic. His speech has all but returned, he is walking again, with a stick and even more importantly for him he has got his driving licence back, and happily gets himself about.
So keep the faith, and keep in contact.
TF
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I had a minor stroke(TIA) last summer in my early 70's. Fortunately my symptoms were nowhere near as severe. The one thing it did do was muck up my peripheral vision resulting in my licence being withdrawn. After much shenanigans, I have had it reissued but, whilst not wishing to add to your woes, a thorough eye check might be prudent. Your OH has less miles on the clock than me so that is to his advantage.
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So sorry Artyboo - I can relate to life feeling like a car crash. You have had some excellent advice so far - and I would add something. PLEASE look after YOU - it is really important! My son had an awful car crash which resulted in a 15 month hospital stay (300 miles from home) and he is wheelchair bound - I had to learn to look after me during those 15 months as it was exhausting and life changing of course too. Well done you for taking on the towing - I am so glad I learnt to tow many years ago as caravanning is such a great way for me to get away. My son is independent in his wheelchair and is going to caravan himself one day I think.
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Artyboo, so sorry to hear about Mr Artyboo.
Just one thought -- when my late father had a
stroke in his mid 60's he struggled on, as
determined / bolshie as anybody else.
BUT some days he was very weepy -- not
feeling sorry for himself at all but just Damn Well
Frustrated because he knew what to do and
he wanted so much to do it that he upset himself
and folks trying to comfort him just made it worse.
It is needful, at times, just to step back & make a
brew, or do a shopping list 'til they calm down a
shade and think what to do instead !
Best Wishes to you Both
Brian A B M
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So sorry to hear of your husband's stroke, I wish him and indeed yourself well and must say how I admire you for getting stuck in and learning how to tow.
Regrettably I have no additional information that might help you in these circumstances.
All the best.
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My wife had a stroke (although the symptoms weren't obvious to me or the ambulance crew), probably a TIA initially, when she was in A & E.That was in summer 2011. We were 180 miles away from home in the caravan with two dogs.
She was affected down her right side also, quite severely, and no speech. She was in hospital for two months before they let her home.
I could not have been more proud of the way she has fought back with shear determination to not let it beat her. She had been very talented at needlework and watercolour painting.
Speech came back first, followed by right hand and foot movement, albeit stiff and jerky.
It was hard for both of us but her determination and my absolute support in everything she tried she is now doing everything she used to, just a bit slower. She is back driving also. Skill is good, confidence is growing.
What i'm trying to say is do not be disheartened by what you see now. Love, support and understanding on your part and his courage and determination can work wonders. I am still seeing small improvements.
Good luck to you both.
JohnE
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Delighted to hear a positive outcome. Makes one look at life very differently - sorts out what's important.
I meant to say in my earlier post that one day the event 'heart attack' in our case, isn't the first thing you think of on waking or the last thought before sleeping not to mention a thousand times in between. It does eventually recede to not being the dominant item in both of your lives but it does take time. I remember someone saying that to me in the early days and I thought nah. But it does happen one day. Thinking of you both.
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Your post jogged my memory John. I remember some 40 years ago nearly. A chap that lived on our road had a stroke that took away the use of his arm and speech. He was able to walk, but not easily. My late wife was an ex nurse and every weekday whilst our daughter was in school she would pop round for 40 mins or more and make sure that he was doing his physio exercises and talking to him. As she said to me 'it's either use it or loose and I'll make sure he gets going'. No idea of that chaps age but I would also call round occasionally and have a laugh with him as humour is important.
I remember saying to my wife 'no wonder the bugger got mobile quickly just to get some peace'
I spent a night and part of the following day in a stroke ward early this year and I think that there were 7 others on that ward, some of whom had been badly affected. What struck me was the amount of humour - some of it black - and how important that humour was as there was a long slog ahead of many to regain what they had lost.
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Artyboo, my wife, Mrs BT suffered a major stroke following a hip operation in October 2009. A blood clot made its way to her brain causing left sided paralysis, slight brain damage and slurred speach. She was in intensive care for twenty one days, with us not knowing if she would pull through. I can empathise completely with your total "car crash" situation, she was 59 at the time, young in medical views, but vulnerable and frail in my eyes. She stayed in Banbury Hospital for six weeks, all the time in hospital she was under the care of the physio team and they worked wonders with her and also let me in on her sessions so that I could see the gradual progress she was making daily, slowly but surely. On her release she was referred to the Nuffield centre for Enablement in Oxford, who treated her three days a week for six weeks assessing her for physical as well as mental disabilities. It is a hard slog, fortunately we were in a position (being self employed and owning our own business) to sell up so I could provide support for her 24/7. She was also on warferin which required regular blood tests and assessment to determine her correct dose, this was another weekly appointment to be juggled in with her other hospital appointments, thankfully our doctor and surgery were the best we could hope for, nothing was to much trouble for them.
The difficult bit is knowing when to step back and let her do her own thing, you must do this, as hard as it seems at the time, thankfully my wife is a very determined person who will not sit in a chair and give up. You must constantly encourage all the time, even now, but know when to give time alone. you must also, and this is very important, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, if you are not well then everything seems just too much, you can't let that happen as you are still depended upon. Fortunately we have two very devoted daughters who have been able to help and let me have a couple of hours off here and there. This may seem hard, but believe me, it is needed. A little recharge of the batteries and you can take the world on again. To cut a long story short, my wife has made a good recovery to date, she can walk with a stick, her speach is perfect, she still has left sided weakness so needs help with dressing and showering etc. She also has a little short term memory loss, which can be a bit exasperating at times, but we laugh it off. sadly she has lost her license due to peripheral vision impairment, caused by the stroke and also the drugs which she must take daily. She still has a sad moment now and then and has a good cry for no reason that she can think of. That is the only down side, the good side is that she is still with us, Keep positive, it can be hard at times, but you'll find a part of you that you never knew you had.....Good luck and best wishes for a good recovery.......
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Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and stories. We managed to get him out for 'lunch' yesterday, lots of lovely friends turned up and they brought our dogs for him to see - that was a tonic for him. It tired him out but in a happy way.
i am so encouraged by your accounts of recovery. It's early days I know.
I was talking to my Nursey friend Friday when I said 'I will get there'. She said 'yes you will, you don't have a choice'!
We WILL get there when we get there.
Thanks again all x
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So sorry to hear this Arty. It's a devastating thing and life changing. However, having worked with stroke victims there are no two cases the same. Recovery is reliant on so many factors. Staying positive is one of them. Your determination to continue caravanning is uplifting not only for us but definitely for the OH. Be patient. I wish you all the best sweetheart and tell him we are all rooting for him.
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Same from me too, artboo. Hope that his recovery is sure and steady. Hopefully lots of years ahead of you both to enjoy the thinks you both love doing.
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P.S.
Do not forget that should you feel a bit down
yourself there is nearly always somebody on here
for you to chat to !! As Huskydog said on another
similar thread, despite our squabblings from time
to time we do try to be a supportive family.
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Best wishes from me to artyboo, as others have said he is young and that is in his favour, being stubborn (you said) isn't a bad thing, look after yourself as there will be days when you will feel low, just come on here there's always someone who will give you a laugh.
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Once again thank you for all your lovely replies.
I DO confess to feeling a bit down at times & yes, writing my thoughts does help. Never thought at mine and his age, I would be looking for disability aids to help him through this.
A bit of black humour struck me this afternoon when one of colleagues told another to calm down or he would have a stroke. The room went quiet; I howled with laughter at that and told them to stop walking on bloody egg shells 😏
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A bit of black humour struck me this afternoon when one of colleagues told another to calm down or he would have a stroke. The room went quiet; I howled with laughter at that and told them to stop walking on bloody egg shells
That strikes a chord. Love to both
Alan
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So sorry about your OH. First of all, have patience, which I most definitely know you do have. It all takes time. Always be positive with him, and keep talking to him and keep up the exercises. Keep everything as normal as possible. Start small and work up, for instance, can he nod and shake his head. If so, you can talk to him and get answers. From there, the sky's the limit. Do keep up with caravanning. He will enjoy the different outlooks by travelling, does to him, and most of all, like the guys above, keep up with the exercise, little and often is best. Keep us posted to what is happening
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Sorry hear about your OH. Caravanning does not have to be curtailed you don't have to necessarily reverse caravans, wonderful things motor movers! So get your confidence and have a break when you're ready! A change is as good as a rest so they say! Make sure you take time for yourself! I speak from experience!
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I am writing this to give you a positive view. Our lovely daughter in law had a stroke nearly 4 years ago, she was then 45 it affected her speech but not her movement. She refused to give up and did every exercise given with a positive attitude to getting back to work as a teacher and to mothering her three children. She did start to make good progress but then contracted encephalitis. Obviously this set her back very badly and then she also started to have some fits. We were devastated, her- no, again she refused to give up. To cut a long story short, she now has her driving licence back, she is back to teaching, although in a different job, she is almost her old self, just sometimes a little vague for a few moments and sometimes having to think about her words, she does get a little tired sometimes. She never gave up for a moment and we are all so proud of her. Good luck at this very difficult time, I really hope that this story of a determined young woman helps.
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