Sniffer, Diary of A Dog In Isolation!

Oh dear! Glum pooch here. Noisy One had a dogastrophy yesterday, front wheel sheered off my chariot. Something called a weld had failed. Anyway, it caused a bit of huffing and puffing until we got back home. 

Mr Fix it is on the case at the moment though, so hopefully I shall be trundling around again merrily later today. 

There have been murmurings that it was something to do with my (not having any effect) diet, but I feel these are totally unfounded rumours, made up by someone who should know better in the dieting department!

Not all bad news though. I saw Grandma Cheese today, 💕we took her some supplies up and lucky me, I got to go in the house. Noisy One had to sit outside for a chat. She’s banned, but not me!

Hello Isla and Angus😁 It’s a rum do all this haircutting business isn’t it. There are some unusual home done cuts appearing this week now weather is warming up, not seen anything too drastic yet though. Unlike some of the humans who are starting to look a tad Catweazle if you get my drift!😂

A thrush! They are quite rare round us, so I think this is very good luck.

From personal experience, the hedgehog poo would be thought as a rare delicacy if I was around, it wouldn’t last long I can assure you! But it’s an acquired taste, and not for the dodgy stomach. Sadly, my innards have led me into some dreadful escapades, so not only do I get all the unfortunate veterinary visits, but I am literally in the doghouse, curt commands, no up close kisses, fewer cuddles......... My last big culinary adventure was a cracker. Pretty village in North Wales, riverside walks down to beach, and that’s where it all went pear shaped. I came across a long dead crab, a delicacy beyond my usual dreams. Humans were bird spotting, so only caught me on the last few mouthfuls. I was fine rest of day, but then 2am in morning......oh dear. I won’t go into details, but Mum has to sleep downstairs with me, up every hour. Whisked off miles away to some unknown vet (nice but didn’t know me). Took ages to sort me, and apparently all their holiday pocket money. I was ill for two days, and in the end they had to come home a day early, leaving Grandma Cheese and Auntie Carrot to stop on their own. I do have a record for spectacular upset tums, but that’s only because they used to have terriers, and everyone knows terriers can eat anything and it doesn’t affect them. Unfair really to judge a fellow on his weakness.....

But Mum says that I am likely to be the last Lab that will ever grace these walls. But Imknow she would relent if someone like me came along again.....she’s quite kind really😁

Well.......not prone to barking, but Toby is the Houdini of the dog world, I am far too big to follow him through some of the gaps he gets through. He has a lovely (if hairy) little brother called Eddie, but he likes to be at home. Toby’s human came round and he was hauled away in some disgrace, but Mum just found it funny, pond is sorted again now.

Mum and Dad would love a puppy. There’s the occasional mention of the patter of tiny paws, but then Noisy remembers she has somewhere called Rome, Canada and Australia on her bucket list, so it goes quiet again. 

Dad is baking for me today, peanut butter dog biscuits. He’s in the doghouse with me though, he’s just used up the only bit of flour in the house........oops😂

Hi Tallulah. I was a bit of a book worm as well in my younger days, there’s something very tasty about paper and a nice hard cover. Dad wasn’t pleased at all, I was in the doghouse for weeks. Only following a family tradition, apparently the Airedale’s were serious snafflers of paperbacks, mainly those nice old orange and cream ones, and the odd green ones. Xx

I’ve been in the doghouse☹️ All because I decided to hit the local pond one hot day last week. Yeah, ok, it was a tad ripe, but that’s just how I like it. But oh dear, the fuss and accusing looks once we got back home, thankfully the hinted bucket didn’t make an appearance. I think Bolshy human is fed up because it’s rained and she is having to do kennel tidying rather than gardening. She hates kennel tidying.........

No sign of that spiky visitor they saw last week, humans have been keeping an eye out for him/her, but no luck. We are off to local vets tomorrow, to pick up some of my tablets, so that means we go out in my Jeep, and I get onto the Woodland Sniffer trail, which is my favourite. Lots of bluebells now, and it’s gone all nice and green.

Big day tomorrow, I am off to bed now.....

😎 I think someone mentioned it yesterday, but I haven’t seen it yet, Bossy one insisted we stopped getting paper magazine, so it’s all digital here, and in true Club style, it’s quicker to get the paper through the post, than try and find the digital version😂

Don't fall for the early phone calls and little bitty offers that early fame can bring. Get a good agent, and hold out for the big stuff. I shall await offers of modelling and testing from Barbour and Orvis, that’s where the  true fame is to be had. I am hoping my chiselled good looks will have Barbour swooning, and I do of course look so good in tweed. Might have to ditch the chariot for a while though, get the old pins pounding the catwalk (🤣) and get my six pack back. 

Of course it will have its downside as well. There will be more baths, all that grooming, lugs will be cleansed, teeth whitened (carrots are brilliant for this, taste good as well) I suppose the bedding will get changed more frequently, tsk, the joys of fame🙄 

It’s not my first brush with Club fame. I was contacted to ask my opinion on Club Sites a while ago, and being a beach fan, was able to give pointers to a couple of splendid options. I like to help out making sure other canines have a good time away.

I might need to choose some publicity shots for my portfolio, should it be the deep thinking Clooney look, or the all action Arnie, or even the classic handsome?🤔

(Mum’s says I am just such a poser, Dad thinks the fame will be bad for me.....🤩)