Sniffer, Diary of A Dog In Isolation!

Exhausting isn’t it, all this entertaining the troops 🐶 I’ve had a normal morning with The Quiet One, plenty of carrot treats, then it sort of went pear shaped around 2pm. Carted off to Grandma Cheese’s house, which was good, but the Noisy one was up there digging a pond, and when I showed enthusiastic interest (as you do) I get yelled at! How is a dog supposed to know that it wasn’t a drinking bowl, and the plants did look tasty. Got my own back, peed on the Rhubarb when she wasn’t looking! 

Grandma Cheese, (who is in my top three humans) came home with us, and I spent all afternoon showing her my toys, hoping for a bit of biscuit, but the Eagle Eye was around, and I got nothing! Tea was nice though, my German vet has decided that more protein, less carbs is the way forward, so I got extra tonight, and it’s Pasta for breakfast tomorrow!

Just heard best mate Flyte has made it home. He really lives the doggy dream, travels all over, beach after beach, walk after walk👍

Hey yup Flyte💕 glad your humans got you home, right old palaver though all this. Will be on the Twilight Bark tomorrow👍

Hey up Merl....oh yes, I love a beach. My humans got me when I was a mere stripling (8 months) I was a bit thick, hadn’t learned my name, so they gave me another one. I nearly got Satan, Diablo, Mephistopheles, Noisy one said it was what she saw when she looked into my eyes, but they relented, and I now have a posh, but easily yelled name, shortened to Rieves. Anyway, I digress, (much like the Noisy one usually does on here🙄) I was thrown into back of a big Jeep and taken on a long journey on my second day with my new owners. It was ok though, as they knew I had a cast iron tum and wouldn’t throw up. They hadn’t bargained with me not being quick to catch on that a walk meant a 💩, so I had great fun blowing their minds on that journey, every whine set them off yelling, “quick, stop”. They were well trained by the time we reached Penzance🐶 Home there was sort of a small cabin, but we all got on ok, including the gorgeous girl who I got to sleep with after a brief hello! Next day, they blew my mind, definitely brain out, run around idiotically on something called sand. Marvellous, it’s like a drug for dogs, you can never get enough. That wet crashing stuff had me puzzled for a while, but after 5 minutes I was in and swimming. Never looked back since. But I am a Labrador, and our legs get all sorts of things wrong with them, so I have to be more careful now, and I can’t walk as far as my brain tells me to. I still go “cracker dog” just to worry them though, that “kerching” look of shock sets on their faces, and I know it means “vet”😱

Weird aren’t they Flyte! All that effort on a box on wheels. I’d give anything to be able to chase bunnies, but the old legs are past it. Got mine well trained though, I have a chariot which they shove around for longer walks. I usually find that my legs go walking uphill, so there’s usually a lot of puffing from the Noisy One, but she needs the exercise, do her good! 😂

Wow, is that Decoupage Merl? They don’t half get up to some weird stuff at times don’t they. Noisy One here is fixated on wool at the moment, makes all sorts of stuff for keeping hands warm and as a sort of collar. She promised me a knitted collar, but it hasn’t  appeared yet🙄

Quiet One is even more weird. He disappears up into some sort of man cave right at the top of the house, then you can hear a weird noise a bit like a giant wasp. I went up to find out what it was, but it was only his bike. He was pedalling but going nowhere. He puts loud music on as well, so things get a but loud. Noisy One gets really annoyed when she yells at him to come down for his dinner, and he can’t hear. But now she phones him so that stops his music!😂

Grandma Cheese is here at the moment. She was bundled into a big coat, hoiked into Jeep, then unwrapped and disinfected when we got home. She doesn’t scratch for fleas, so not sure what all the washing was for, but I am pleased to see her. She feeds me biscuits on the sly! Every dog needs a Grandma Cheese👍

Hi Bakers, I don’t mind being your virtual dog. Noisy One says if this blasted website was better she’d post some funny photos, but she’s too tight to sort out something that sizes photos better, and a bit dim anyway when it comes to techno gadgets🙄 But she’s a good human really, not bad at the walks and cuddles thing! I was allowed on the bed this morning, just for a post breakfast tickle, and it was their basket washing day, all bedding off, so it was nice. Sunday is toast morning as well, I usually blag a crust or two. I don’t have to ask in the MH, it’s easy to wake them up in there! Have to be careful where I plant the old paws though, otherwise the yelling starts🤣

She’s terribly thick about such things Baker, and uses some strange box called an iPhone and an iPad, but will look into Resizer. You really do need to see more of me and the things I do.

That Bingley really did live the dream. He had two girls with him, pampering to his every need, although they did sometimes nick his treats apparently. Not only that, but they all got to live in Cornwall for around four months each year, so there was lots of beach visiting for them. I had a lovely girl who was my best friend, but she was a bit older than me, and got ill last year. I do miss her, we had some great times together. Noisy One thinks it would be too much to have another younger dog with me at the moment, but Quiet One might win, who knows......

Steady day today, local woods with Quiet One, Noisy was off on a mission to get Meds, including my Cocodamol, but we found her later, wandering the streets, peering at folks gardens. There was a lot of huffing and puffing replacing a drainpipe and fitting a water butt this afternoon. I had to assist, important that I am close at times like this, although I might have actually been a bit too close judging by the language at times when Quiet One was trying to step off ladders. But they got it done. 

This Corona lurgy thing is getting to be a pain in the butt. Looks like long walks might be cur-tailed a bit now. Mind I don’t mind the local park, usually plenty of talent on parade in there, they will have to be careful with social distancing though, lots like to say hello to me in my chariot.

😂