Stop flirting with human beings
On these sweltering summer days I find myself enjoying the coolness of the early morning sitting in the conservatory with the doors wide open or, a bit later, on the patio. It is a lovely way to read the morning paper and the rather unusual weather we are having at the moment is something we must all take advantage of while we can. Apart from the not too intrusive sound of early morning traffic all is peaceful.
But I am not alone. My reading is constantly interrupted by the provocative parading of a female, I see her through the corner of my eye and I pretend that I have not noticed. Her bare feet dribble through the dewy grass, the cool wetness sending sensual surges through her warm body. Her eyes are on me all the time. She comes closer and closer using her graceful form to best effect, she is no stranger to flirting.
She does this every morning and I know she is just teasing me, I am fully aware that she has a partner. Shameless hussy!
The trouble is I have been feeding her and she may have taken that as a sign that I am interested, which of course I am not. It really was not for her that I spread grass seed on the lawn's bare patches, and its not for her that I turn the sprinkler on each evening. She is just taking advantage.
During hot dry spells birds need water and I have filled a large flat tray with water and placed it on the patio just for this purpose. Birds tend not to go straight to their intended destination rather they indulge in meandering to and fro, probably checking how safe they are. I know where she is headed for and I stay perfectly still, sure enough, she hops on to the rim of the tray, dips her head and drinks. It reminds me of learning about the Romans when I was at school and that an army is at its most vulnerable while the soldiers are quenching their thirst on the bank of a stream. I hear a shrill warning cry and she hops down. She is walking by the side of the flower border and just as she is in the shade of the hydrangea her partner swoops down and I am in no doubt that he is not happy with her. They chase each other to the roof of the garage where they have an angry exchange.
He tells her that there is work to be done, beds to be made and a nest to be cleaned.
She reminds him that we live in enlightened times and that he must do his share too.
Clearly this does not go down very well but she wins the point and Mr Blackbird retreats to the treetops. She is back on the lawn but she is now rather more subdued.
Love is still all, and she respects her partner's parting words.
"Stop flirting with human beings!"
