Feeling sad
After losing our lovely seventeen year old Poppy in January we have now made the decision not to have another dog. I feel as miserable now as I did all those months ago. Everyone tells me that it will get easier but, after thirty five years of having a
dog, never to have the love and affection which each furry friend gave us is so difficult. The only consolation is knowing we gave the best possible life to the three rescue dogs we owned.
Comments
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I understand how you're feeling JoJo. We had dogs all through our married life and our family loved them very much.
Having a dog had always suited our lifestyle but, now in our 60s, after our last yellow labrador died we took the decision not to have another one as it would be another fifteen year commitment and we weren't sure if we would be able to meet the needs of
an active puppy which would grow into an active dog needing lots of exercise.We know that we gave our dogs a good and happy life and we've been able to move on from our grief and now enjoy spontaneous trips away which, with a pet, wasn't always possible.
See how you feel after a few more months and, if you still feel sad, then maybe reconsider your decision.
Best wishes to you.
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JoJo - have you thought about volunteering for the Cinnamon Trust? They are a small charity, based in Cornwall, but have helpers through the country who will care for and walk dogs for elderly or ill owners who otherwise might have to lose the company of
their animals.Have a look at their website www.cinnamon.org.uk for details.
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Sorry Jojo, but if like me it won't get better, the frequency of remembering may dwindle but the emotion when you do will not. When we lost our two very close together a few years back, we debated but I found myself constantly visiting the local rescue place
just to be with them play with them and talk with them. Happily we took on another rescue dog and are very happy we did, and although 5 years have past since losing our previous two, I still have very upsetting moments. The need for a dog as a companion far
outweighed any limitations a pet will bring to my independence, your choice but we are all different in emotional terms.Hope it does get better for you.
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Oh hard decision. We had our sons dog for three years, wouldn't allow a dog when he was four as wed get lumbered . He got one at twenty four and OH was asked to help with early stages as at home all day, then dog and son off to live with girlfriend who
half owns the dog. No both do a career change and uni involved. We get the dog, who's very peripatetic and settles with any of the four of us. We had a ball. Kids now settled asked for dog back. Little b****r settled in with them . Empty house, much talk
of getting our own but now 18 months on have decided against it as daughter and granddaughters live in NZ, so impossible, we'd never get another peripatetic one who'd settle as well and get on with sons dog . So hoping for more extended NZ time. Son and
girlfriend off to NZ for month we get the dog . It'll be January . Still it'll be lovely regardless of the dark wet windy muddy walks!!!It's not an easy decision and I still waiver. Someone suggested the Cinnamon Trust, nothing local to us. It might be useful for you. They want lots of checks including police, rightly so, but as nothing in our area still haven't pursued.
I wish I could say the longing goes away, sadly it doesn't but we do now comment sometimes 'couldn't do this if we had a dog'
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I too know how you are feeling JoJo. You might remember my thread on here when we lost Drumstick. A few months later we also lost Ezz. I couldn't stand not having a little being (s) wagging at the door when I got home so we got Fraggle and Pnut. I adore
them but still miss Drum & Ezz every single day. I will admit, it took time to warm to the next two but now I am so glad we did it. You will never replace Poppy but by giving another dog a home, you can certainly ease your pain.good luck in whatever you decide.
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Our two dogs are quite elderly now and we have wondered about the future, whether to be dog less or not. I know someone locally who takes in dogs for holidays and that has proved to be a nice alternative, having a few regular canine pals around.
We did give up our chickens and miss them. We also gave up the idea of any more cats, I felt quite miserable without one and realised that this was self inflicted so went out and chose a slightly older, rather noisy RSPCA cat last year, he's meowing at me now. I hope he appreciates his new found comfortable situation!I sometimes take our dogs into my Mum's residential home where visiting animals are welcome. I can't tell you how much pleasure animals bring to many of the residents, if you enjoy animals it's very hard to be without them. So I commiserate with the OP very much.
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Hi JoJo9, a lot of us on this forum have suffered the pain of losing our beloved dogs. Getting another one is a very difficult decision to make. I lost mine 18 months ago and still miss him very much but a year ago we decided to visit a rescue centre and
fell in love with another dog that is curled up next to the OH now.The decision is yours alone to make as we all deal with things differently. One thing I will say and to Quote Tinwheeler who helped me last year when I was considering things said, “a new dog can never replace a lost one but it can help to ease the pain”.
It has worked for us, I was lost not going for dog walks and getting greetings when I had been away for only a few minutes.Good luck and all the best with whatever you decide.
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Thankyou for the mention, Nevers. Now I find myself in the same position as the OP as we, too, have decided no more. Brushing 70 and slowing down ourselves has made us realise that we'd not be able to give a dog the life it deserves.
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Thankyou for the mention, Nevers. Now I find myself in the same position as the OP as we, too, have decided no more. Brushing 70 and slowing down ourselves has made us realise that we'd not be able to give a dog the life it deserves.
I can fully understand that Tinny.
When things have not been going so well with our new dog, I often wonder if we should have helped out at the nearest rescue centre or done fostering. I’m not sure I could bring myself to do that though without falling for one of the dogs and keeping it.
It’s a hard decision indeed.
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Thankyou for the mention, Nevers. Now I find myself in the same position as the OP as we, too, have decided no more. Brushing 70 and slowing down ourselves has made us realise that we'd not be able to give a dog the life it deserves.
I can fully understand that Tinny.
When things have not been going so well with our new dog, I often wonder if we should have helped out at the nearest rescue centre or done fostering. I’m not sure I could bring myself to do that though without falling for one of the dogs and keeping it.
It’s a hard decision indeed.
It's still too soon for us to contemplate anything like that but I know what you mean about falling for one of them, Nevers.
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When our last Bernese died I was strongly against us having another dog although for 35 years we had always had some type of large mutt around. At our age there is the likelihood that a pet would outlive us, the cost of responsible ownership, the desire
to be able to leave the house spontaneously or the implications of extended trips abroad and the possible trauma of losing another loved family pet were all factors.. when I was told that if I died tomorrow OH would immediately have a dog I acquiesced. The
small dog which I intended to be her dog arrived and now 18 months later I am absolutely besotted with the bundle of energy, enthusiasm and joie de vive which we have. Duly passported she's ready for megatrips, is small enough to come with us most places and
whilst we have foregone some spontaneity in our activities that's outweighed by the laughs we have everyday at her antics. And should we peg out tomorrow she would seem to move in happily with the children and grandchildren. I was wrong ....but that doesn't
go for everyone!0 -
Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I wish we lived near an animal rescue centre where I could volunteer. I would love to help through the Cinnamon Trust or organisations where we would look after dogs when the owners are away on holiday. But my husband
isn't keen on that idea, he thinks he would become too attached to the dog even if we only looked after it for a short time. I think I'm feeling particularly sad at the moment because we have just donated a lot of Poppy's things to the R.S.P.C.A. for use
in their rescue centres. Thanks again everyone for your good wishes.0 -
Jo we know how you feel, we had to have our boy put to sleep Friday after suffering from cancer for almost ten months. He was doing well on the chemo but went rapidly downhill last week. We will not be getting another dog but will foster for the Boxer Wefare.
People say"don't you get attached to them" but you don't get a chance, as when one dog goes to a new home in the morning another is usualy delivered in the afternoon.0 -
Its now 8 years since I lost my beautiful "Goldie" Harvey, and I still miss the stupid Mutt!
The trouble is that it actually doesnt get that much easier as time goes by. Its true he's not constantly in my thoughts today, but Ive only got to see a lovely Golden and the memories come flooding back.
Like TW I'm a lot older now and less able, so I guess that it would not be fair on the dog for me to have another one now but I do.........!
Only a couple of weeks ago we were staying on our favourite CL, Goose Slade farm when a young long haired minature Dashound came running up to greet me. When he was only about a metre away he turned over and arrived sliding on his back, ready to have his tummy tickled ! Got me wondering again...............?
TF
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Jo we know how you feel, we had to have our boy put to sleep Friday after suffering from cancer for almost ten months. He was doing well on the chemo but went rapidly downhill last week. We will not be getting another dog but will foster for the Boxer Wefare.
People say"don't you get attached to them" but you don't get a chance, as when one dog goes to a new home in the morning another is usualy delivered in the afternoon.Awful news, Richard. Thoughts are with you.
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Oh Richard, we are so sorry to hear of your very sad news. Can't imagine how you feel at the moment. Our 3 year old Labradoodle is also going through chemo, 3 more to go. It must have been such a roller coaster ride before. We can not offer our thoughts
and payers.andrea and kerry
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Jo we know how you feel, we had to have our boy put to sleep Friday after suffering from cancer for almost ten months. He was doing well on the chemo but went rapidly downhill last week. We will not be getting another dog but will foster for the Boxer Wefare.
People say"don't you get attached to them" but you don't get a chance, as when one dog goes to a new home in the morning another is usualy delivered in the afternoon.Awful news, Richard. Thoughts are with you.
The same from us, too. We know how you feel having gone through a similar loss with our previous dogs.
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I think that we all feel for the dogs we have lost.
Jo and Richard, words cannot explain how you both feel, whatever kind words I say to you cannot bring them back. I do feel for both of you, having been in the same situation many years ago, yes it does hurt, and no, you will never forget them. Try and turn that love and rememberance to your advantage, don't shut them out of your thoughts, keep remembering them and the love, trust and faithful sincerity that they showed you and you them. If you can spare some of that love, I'm sure there are/is a lost little friend waiting for you to enter their lives.
At 69 I thought that I was too old to take on another young puppy....Wrong !!!..... Now 70 and Alfie 10 months old, I have lost 20lbs in weight, brought my BP down and generally feel as fit as a fiddle, all thanks to my faithful friend, who has brought so much to our lives. If he outlives us, then he is loved just as much by all our family, so will not be short of a good home.
I wish you both luck with the decisions ahead of you, they are hard ones and must come from the heart as well as the mind.
Again, my sympathies to you both....
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I was in pieces after loosing our first dog, it was no different with the second. But for me the pain did ease and I now have such happy memories of my dogs as puppies, as adults and in old age. Don't think for one moment they would have wanted me to remain unhappy. Presently we are between dogs, this period may last a year possibly years but when the time is right I'd love another. We just make a fuss of everybody else's now but only those who wish us too, both owners and dogs that is I may add!
My sympathies are with all like us!
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Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends
are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one
small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster
and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting
eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....0
