Something to make you smile....

Dr Nigel
Dr Nigel Forum Participant Posts: 49

I never got to the NEC show today....if you want to save money, then write ALL your serial numbers down... I am thinking of nominating Renault spares department to go on the "pointless" TV show.

PART ONE

ME : Hello, is that the spares department?...

RENAULT : Yes it is

ME : My tyre got shredded on the M4 today on the way to the NEC, and in the panic of the moment, I left my security wheel nut key on the hard shoulder...

RENAULT : Very common sir....do you have the key serial number?

ME : Where would I find that?

RENAULT : It's stamped on the inside of the key...

ME : The key is somewhere between Newport and Cardiff...

RENAULT : Oh...then you will need a new set of locking nuts...

ME: How the hell will I get the original locking nuts off....with my teeth?

RENAULT : Very funny sir....you will need the key sir....

gasp emoticon

PART TWO

"At a garage in the middle of a council estate"

ME: Do you think you could get my locking wheel nuts off without a key?

MECHANIC : No problem! I keep a secret tool under the counter..I'll get the swines off in 2 minutes flat!

ME: If I gave you £50...do you think one of the boys could sneak over to the Renault Spares Department and fit them onto his car?



Comments

  • ADD46
    ADD46 Forum Participant Posts: 437
    100 Comments
    edited February 2016 #2

    That made me smile. Laughing

  • Wildwood
    Wildwood Club Member Posts: 3,581 ✭✭✭✭
    1000 Comments Photogenic
    edited February 2016 #3

    Makes you wonder what good locking wheel nuts are. Makers might do well to give the key number on a separate sheet although may be they make more by selling a set rather than a key.

  • AutoAddict
    AutoAddict Forum Participant Posts: 114
    edited February 2016 #4

    I remember when I bought a new genuine battery from my local Vauxhall dealer.

    A week after I bought it, the hydrometer thingie was showing black took it off and shook it and it showed green. A week later it was showing black again Put my meter on it and it was reading 13.2 volts.

    Took it back and showed them and said it was a faulty battery, the guy in the parts  department shook it and it showed glowed green. 'There you are' he says. 'Gocha', I said, 'Every time it shows black, I take it off and shake it!'

    After a bit of argy bargy, he replaced it.

  • volvoman9
    volvoman9 Forum Participant Posts: 1,053
    500 Comments
    edited February 2016 #5

    I,ve said this before locking wheel nuts are a pain and cause nothing but problems.I wont have them on any of my cars.The last time i had problems with them i had too have 19mm bolts welded onto the locking nuts just to get them off with a socket
    Sad.Nobody pinches car wheels anymore its easier too pinch the car.

    peter.

  • Navigateur
    Navigateur Club Member Posts: 3,880 ✭✭✭✭✭
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2016 #6

    Renault are ace!   Girlfriend took her new car back within a week because the heated seats didn't and to have a window seal replaced. 

    When she went to collect, the seal had not been done and the "reason" given was that she had not checked with the Parts Department that it had arrived!  Seats still didn't work either because "it was electrical" and had to be taken to a sub-contractor as
    the main stealer didn't do that kind of work.

  • Whittakerr
    Whittakerr Club Member Posts: 3,472 ✭✭✭✭
    1000 Comments Photogenic
    edited February 2016 #7

    Sad.Nobody pinches car wheels anymore its easier too pinch the car.

    peter.

    Or it could be because they have got locking wheel nuts on SmileWink

  • Hakinbush
    Hakinbush Forum Participant Posts: 286
    edited February 2016 #8

    Locking wheel nuts, total waste of time, any self respecting wheel thief gets past them in minutes, so why bother...

  • volvoman9
    volvoman9 Forum Participant Posts: 1,053
    500 Comments
    edited February 2016 #9

    Sad.Nobody pinches car wheels anymore its easier too pinch the car.

    peter.

    Or it could be because they have got locking wheel nuts on SmileWink

    Dont you believe it they will have the car away in a fraction of the time it takes too remove the wheels.

    v9

  • EmilysDad
    EmilysDad Forum Participant Posts: 8,973
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2016 #10

    Sad.Nobody pinches car wheels anymore its easier too pinch the car.

    peter.

    Or it could be because they have got locking wheel nuts on SmileWink

    Dont you believe it they will have the car away in a fraction of the time it takes too remove the wheels.

    v9

    Not anymore with electrickery keys that need to talk to your car .... unless it's a BMW Innocent Easier to break into your house to get
    the keys.

    Wheel nuts/bolts are easy, you just need a set of
    these
     Surprised

  • EmilysDad
    EmilysDad Forum Participant Posts: 8,973
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2016 #11

    Vauxhall locking bolts come in a box that has the code on a bit of paper inside ..... if I had my Merc on my drive I'd look in the similar looking box.

  • ADP1963
    ADP1963 Forum Participant Posts: 1,280
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2016 #12

    Vauxhall locking bolts come in a box that has the code on a bit of paper inside ..... if I had my Merc on my drive I'd look in the similar looking box.

    Write your comments here...Aaaah she's still not back then Molly!, now I know you are wee weeeeed off!   Sad

  • Navigateur
    Navigateur Club Member Posts: 3,880 ✭✭✭✭✭
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2016 #13

    Wheel nuts/bolts are easy, you just need a set of
    these

    Ah, left hand thread dies!  Just don't expect to put the nut back on when you find the key!

  • Buccaneer Senators
    Buccaneer Senators Forum Participant Posts: 4
    edited March 2016 #14

    Its not just me then, I needed to change the wheel on my car and while trying to undo the locking wheel nut I felt a crunk and one of the teeth had come off the key. A neighbour tried to help by hammering a smaller socket on the the locking wheel nut, but
    this failed and left the locking wheelnut useless as the anti spin collar came off. We then drove round several parts places to get a new key with no results. Two weeks later other half ordered a set of left hand threaded socket things to get it off - on the
    same day that I went to Toyota and got a new locking wheel nut ket for £19 - result. But if I had done that in the first place I would have four locked wheels instead of three. Live and learn!