My husband died.Scared of touring alone.
My husband died very suddenly last year. we were relatively new to touring in our little "tin can" as he called it, we had only been touring about 4 years, and the furthest we went from home was Edinburgh.
The dream was to tour the whole of the united kingdom... my dream anyway! John was happy just skipping to the east coast / Filey, for a few days. We absolutely loved our little van and it became our sanctuary.
I know he would want me to carry on touring , but I'm afraid of heading out on the open road alone.. I did most of the towing so that isn't an issue, and I I'm quite practical, its just a daunting though going alone.
I know that on club sites there will always be someone around to lend a hand if I get in to trouble, its just the getting there that scares me. Are there any other ladies out there that tow alone?
Can I , should I, do it?
Comments
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Of course you should and the sooner the better.
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Ho bozzer and sorry for your loss.
First thing to do is get yourself on a towing course, there’s plenty of info on here. Mrs One tows our van both here and over there. She also knows how to set up everything and to pack away. I would like to think that if I shuffled of this mortal coil she would continue.
As you say there’s always someone around to help.
All the best and please let us know what you decide
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Sorry for your loss bozzer, you must have had some tough times.
With regard to you towing...Of course you can do it!
As you rightly point out, there'll be others on sites and on this forum, who'll be around to help you and once you've got the confidence to tow your van, there'll be no stopping you.
Have you considered attending one of the Club's towing courses? My sister went on one as she had never towed and didn't particularly want to, but decided to 'take the plunge' if only in case of emergency. She loved it and it gave her the confidence to tow (and reverse their caravan onto a pitch)
There's also plenty of tips in the 'advice and training' section ^^^^^
If you prefer to try on your own, or with a friend and live near a business park, they can be fabulous places to practice at weekends.
Good luck and I'm sure you'll have many happy memories still to make.
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I'm sure someone who has experienced this will answer you soon, Your are used to towing so I suppose the problem is "what if something happens". For peace of mind I would join Mayday or similar, then you know someone is at the end of the phone, you might decide to attend the Solo's meets/rally you will have made contact before hand and swapped mobile no's, then you will know someone is waiting for you, and to help with setting up. Your confidence will be lifted knowing you are not alone.
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Hello Bozzer, have you had a look on the Solos section on here, there are many people out there who've had similar experiences and quite a few who have always towed solo. There are also some other solo groups who would welcome and encourage you. I think they are also listed in the solos section.
I hope you can find the courage to give it a go as you obviously love going away in your van and there will be happier times ahead.
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As well as the solos group started on here by Vivien there is www.newcompanions.org.uk
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Hi! I lost my husband 6 years ago suddenly, I sat for a year contemplating on can I ever go away again in the caravan? I had been away to a center rally or to but felt very isolated so like I said, I sat and wondered.
On here a gent asked about going to Warwick racecourse CMC site and wondered what it was like, after a fashion both myself, the gent and 4 other Solos met up exactly 5 years ago this coming weekend. We also had a visitor on site that weekend, David S Brooke’s, one of the Mods here at CMC, it was a great weekend away, we sat, drank, ate and chatted more. We were all Widows/widowers, so knew how each other felt.
We went on to have further meet ups all over the country, from a few days away to two week holiday in Cornwall and Scotland Isles etc. Some sites have been hard standing, some grass, but we all helped each other regardless as and when. The largest meet was at Clumber CMC site where over 17 people attended.
We are not a club, no membership or details are held. We have a sign you print off and this works two ways. If on a site on your own you see a sign in the window, you know they are a Solo and would like a chat, plus it helps at a meet to recognise who is who as we do not park in a huddle, you book and park as and where you want.
Now! I used to do the odd bit of towing before my husband passed away. I had a refresher course and plucked up courage to venture 20 miles from home to a site I knew very well. I cried all the way there, I knew my husband would be proud that I have continued something we loved. I arrived and everything went smooth, I did not rush at anything. It was strange but I enjoyed the trip plus was proud of myself!
Since that first trip away I have covered thousands of miles towing, enjoying each and every site I have visited.
Now I know there are Solos near to you, but I do not have their details, it’s not what we do, but I do know they also belong to New Companions. I too am a member, both New Companions and Solos seem to work alongside each other offering opportunities to let people go away and not always alone.
I hope you do book into somewhere local and just take your time and enjoy! Perhaps we may meet on a site somewhere soon?
Please go to the front page of this sections and you will see Solos and also diary dates. Sparse at the moment but does change as the year goes on!
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I have always wanted a caravan but due to the amount of traffic these days making me rather nervous of towing, after a legacy 5 years ago, decided to buy a motorhome instead. I take my 2 dogs with me and have never had any problems apart from the occasional, ignorant Lewis Hamilton wannabe who think that they own the road, but you can come across them anywhere and whatever vehicle or outfit you are driving. I have always stayed on either C&MHC or C&CC sites and find that the wardens and most of the other members are very helpful and friendly. Good luck to you as I am sure you will enjoy your trips.
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So sorry to hear of your loss Bozzer. I'm not a solo caranner but just a thought. When we go away we do chat to others on-site and sometimes offer to help if a neighbour looks to be having difficulty with, say, an awning. However knowing how reserved we as a nation are we do tend to keep ourselves to ourselves. Several times we have spotted 'solo' caranners or motorhomers and have wanted to be a bit more friendly but have been reticent at making the first move. On several occasions we have struck up a conversation with a 'solo' after several days of wondering 'I wonder if they would like a chat rather than a simple hello'. Almost always we have found that yes, they really wanted to chat but didn't want to be the first to initiate the exchange. So, maybe us 'non solos' need to be a bit more forward and spotting someone on their own on-site go out of their way to be a bit more friendly. I'll try to practise this next time we are away.
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Hi Bozzer, you have my sympathies for your loss. I was widowed over 20 years ago with two young children.
Although I now have a partner, he is self employed and can't take the amount of holidays I get as a teaching assistant. I decided in 2015 that I wanted a caravan so had a look around and bought myself one! I booked on a towing course too.
Since then I am now on my third van and have towed all over the country. I spend 6 weeks in the summer in Cornwall, most of this on my own with my three little dogs. Roger joins me when work allows.
I would say to go for it. As long as you are physically fit enough to do the setting up you will be fine. I was always reticent to accept help, but now I realise if people are kind enough to offer then I'll accept! A good suggestion from someone to join Mayday, you have peace of mind then.
I had a lovely Easter last year at the North Yorks Moors site where I met a lady of 80+ years who was solo. She has a big Bailey with a fixed bed and like she said it was her home from home.
Im sure you won't regret it, but if you want to ask any questions, I'd be happy to help!
Gill
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That is good to hear. In the early days when I was alone, I found the women looked on me as a threat, so kept myself to myself and waited for others to say the initial "hello". The occasional drink and chat is always welcome. Being very short, I decided that caravanning was not for me on my own. Also, I had been ill. I changed to a motorhome, although this has its problems transport-wise. But I was not going to give up this life of freedom. Going to a hotel on my own was a death warrant in itself. Since then, I have been from Devon to Skye. I love it and if nobody speaks so what. The scenery in this country makes up for an awful lot. Go on, don't give it all up. You lost your husband, don't lose the holiday life you loved together.
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Almost 3 years ago my husband was killed in a road accident. I bought a motor home and two dogs and head for the open road.
You have been through the worst of experiences, touring on your own will be easy in comparison.
Drive round the block, then a local destination you enjoy, see how you feel. You will know what to do after that.
The alternative is to not do it.. Boring or what huh xx
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Thank you all so very much for your kind words and advice.I have taken the plunge and booked to take our little van to a small site in York over the may day bank holiday. It was the very first place John and I went to when we began our caravan adventures.Its only an hour from home but its a start. I think the advice about joining Mayday is A great Idea and ill get that done ASAP. We both did the CC towing course when we started out so Im ok with that. It's the fear of something happening on route that is the real worry..I keep telling myself to stop being afraid and just DO IT! You never know what tomorrow will bring. life is precious. I know John would want me to do it...and hell be with me all the way. Thank you again. Ill keep you posted. Ilona
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Firstly sorry for your loss.
Can I second Oneputt's post. At heart the contributors to CT are generally a decent caring bunch and this thread echoes that.
I would wholeheartedly agree to 'give it a go' and am delighted to read that you have booked a site now. I don't suppose the first trip away will be easy on several levels, but hopefully it will bring back happy memories and will be the start of many more trips. I only hope that I can be as 'brave' as you should I find myself in a similar situation - I'm not sure I would be, but sincerely wish you the very best.
Do let us know how you get on. And don' be afraid to ask for help,on here or on site.
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Good news to hear that you're going to a site soon! If you join Mayday then it'll allay your fears and worries whilst travelling 😀
Glad to hear you've done the towing course too and without wanting to sound patronising or condescending, you've had a lot to deal with, have you remembered to get your caravan serviced, tyre pressures etc?
Also want to second One's (and other's) comments on this thread and IMHO, Vivien is needed in Westminster! 😀
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Thank you Jonray, I think I will stay where I am, if that’s ok!
Dont forget to add any trips away to Diary Dates, just say when you will be at what site. No other details needed.
I hope everyone has a good Touring experience this year, hopefully the weather will be good too!
take care
Vivien
P.S don’t forget to print the Solos sign off and pop it in the front window, you never know who you may meet to have a natter with!
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This the Solos sign to print, best printed as a A5 graphic.
Tap on image, save and then print, it’s as simple as that
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I've booked a service for next weekend, hopefully everything will be ok.
I bought a tyre pressure ...thingy too? It plugs in to the car, but not sure how it works? I'll work it out tho, it can't be that difficult!
Thanks to everyone again for all your kind comments. I really do feel part of a community.
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I'll work it out tho, it can't be that difficult!
You've got it! That's exacly what to do. If you think there is something you might have difficulty with "en route" have a think and work out what would need to be done, and how much of it you would do yourself. You may find you want to buy a few bits and pieces and small tools you may not have already.
If you can't see how to do something, just ask on the forum, and plenty of people will be able to make suggestions. Whatever it is, someone will have done it before.
If you do have to contact Mayday, remember to tell them that you are travelling alone as they will prioritise the response.
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Lost my wife just a few months ago after 53 years. I suppose it is much easier for a man but only realise now how much I relied on her. I have now booked sandringham ccc for next week. Whitby in May and most frightening ccc German tour in September. So as everyone says, it's not easy but just do it.
Eddie
West Yorkshire motorhomer
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Eddie
You'll probably find the Germany tour the easiest of the lot, the roads and facilities being much better.
Good on you for carrying on touring and although there'll be a very big part of your life missing, do let us know how you get on
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Hi all.
I’m new to your Solo Group.
I lost my husband within a year of buying our new caravan in early 2015. We were so looking forward to touring the UK and Europe. I still love the van and have been to sites with family and friends but it would be good to meet with folks in the same position I find myself, that understand the loss & how hard it is to go on.
I live in West Sussex. I love the Herstmonceux site at Battle, the New Forest, Corfe, Wareham if any meets are at these sites. Not adverse to trying others.
Lin
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,Hi meat' consult the 'solo's ' list of outing's ..Maybe there's one you fancy going to ??0 -
Hi Bozzer. Glad you will be going away soon. After my husband died over 7 years ago I kept caravanning but after 5 years I changed to a motorhome. My dog and I love both caravanning and motorhoming. I have found the New Companions Camping Club to be good as it has meets all over the country and abroad. I have just come back from wintering in Spain and meet up with lots of other solo campers in my travels.
All the best for a good summer to all other solo travellers.
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