V9 The 12 woe,s of christmas.
To the tune of the twelve days of christmas all together now 
On the twelth day of christmas my dealer gave to me
Twelve loose screws
Eleven hinges squeaking
Ten faulty seals
Nine cracks a spreading
Eight bits are missing
Seven transfers peeling
Six lights not working
Five damp patchessssssssssssssssss 
Four draws are jammed
Three stuck blinds
Two loose wheels 
And a crack in the shower tray.
Merry Cristmas from V9 
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